Update: Please bear in mind that this was a direct port from a discord chat so a lot of this is out of context. So apologies for any confusion or lack of clarity as to what exactly is being brought up here. To summarize
Jeremy and I were discussing larp as a tool for therapy and I agree it's great as a control for those who need to be equipped for every day life. However the caveat being, as players, what is the line for where someone's emotional labor or expectations are drawn? How much do we allow this therapy to go before it is imposed unto unwilling participants. It also boils down to the social contract when we as players who enjoy this hobby for stress relief, escapism, therapy, etc etc and what is agreed upon. This is so we as a community can explore this together to understand the social contract between one another. This is to be a series of topics for us to improve upon and as a Player Rep lead I feel it is my duty to be able to explore these thoughts with you all so that we establish boundaries and clear up common place misunderstandings. The first of which topics is as titled of the discussion of Emotional Labor & Emotional Expectations. I understand that this conversation may invoke some charged emotions and that is perfectly valid. There are members of this community that have chosen to pursue this conversation further than a normal discord chat hence the reasoning of this post. I ask that all participants be cognizant of the sensitive nature of this discussion. As always I am available on the Discord to discuss if there is more clarification needed.
As requested by participating members in Discord.
Also please observe the following comment before continuing.
Regarding that forum post @Uncle Aiki | Robert Ira et al; Perhaps a disclaimer should exist at the end to alleviate anything that may trail the conversation otherwise. We've experienced sensational tendencies where, while the opinion can be valid, in turn do a text-base version of talking over those whose opinions are of equal importance. Of similar importance, refraining from conjecture and personal criticism should be kept to a minimum. Speaking with proper discretion; If someone needs to be called out, then it should be taken up in a manner as to not divert what needs to be done. Any passive comments at a person or opinions do not need to exist in a constructive conversation.
Absolutely agreed with Chris. Any comment in this discussion that carries personal criticism towards any member will be removed. This is a genuine inquiry based on LARP being used as a medium for constructive therapy. The question I had posed for discussion, as it has been a topic in countless larp spheres, is the following: "Constructively how do we address those who impose emotional labor and expectations unto others?" This question no doubt can be expanded upon. The aim of this inquiry is to ensure that those who utilize LARP as a control to engage in "day to day" out of game lives that do not overstep boundaries. We could also reasonably ask what these boundaries would be as well. This topic is to serve as a centric means of discussion so that many members within our community ranging from professionals, lived experience, and others valuable perspectives can participate.
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I don't have any coherent thoughts to share just yet, but is it possible to link to the articles you mentioned? I'd love to read them, and I bet I'm not the only one :)
(Full disclosure: I am not a therapist, a social worker, I do not have a degree remotely close to the topics at hand. There may be something I write here that's a complete logical fallacy. I am open to criticism and being corrected if that's the case.)
It occurred to me that we have multiple perspectives to work through; the players, the respondent, administration, both IG and OOG to name a few. A lot of individuals may want to speak with respect to KR, but I recommend we generalize for an overall sociological discussion in the world of larping.
Quite a few great articles regarding this were recently shared with me. After reading those articles and seeing your past discussions, there is definitely a larger picture to paint; building an effective larp community. I would love to talk about that at a later date. (This comment in no way is a jab at KR's community)
I feel laying out those above roles are potentially important to this conversation. So here we go!
The Player: It is valid for one to larp for therapeutic purposes. However, this person must understand that they can not expect anyone to be their respondant IG or OOG as a default. Larping is not a therapeutic service in nature. The player base, its administration, or story tellers or not therapists to handle your needs.
If one is seeking larp as a means of emotional support (solely or not), they must use proper discretion and situational awareness as to not impose an overbearing level of emotional labor onto the community. Putting in overtime on emotional labor can cause unexpected consequences. For example, a level of negativity towards the Player's disposition may happen, in turn causing further stress in themselves.
The Respondent: If one takes on this responsibility, the resulting awards, consequences, discretion, professionalism, and situational awareness must be understood. A respondent is far more often -not- a professional in this field and should not attempt to be one.
It is also worth noting there is a level of commitment involved when assisting someone with their mental health. This is not a revolving door situation given the fact that a respondent is being relied upon in a time of need. IG, getting up and leaving mid conversation with a player for a mod because 'That's just something my character does.' is not a way to get out of your commitment. Honesty and transparency is needed from both parties to ensure an effective relationship.
Administration: A respondent for all intents and purposes, but on a far more heightened level. In order to administer an effective, fun, transparent and useful atmosphere, staff needs to understand that they will carry the burden of emotional labor far more than anyone else in the community.
For example, even if they decided not to take on a respondent role, their burden of emotional labor would stem from problems between players and respondents that aren't handling situations as they should. Administrative overhead must ensure anyone involved in the community can handle these situations in a correct manner.
This is the point where I believe emotional labor and larp as a therapy channel are just a small piece of what needs to be considered in an effective larp community. We can speak on professionalism, digital vs in-person communication problems, toxic communities in both players and staff, siloing, etc. etc. that all hinder an larp community from being the naturally escapist environment in needs to be. As I said earlier, that's a conversation for a different day.
So we can now ask ourselves "Well, where is the line to be drawn?". Frankly, it is impossible to have a definitive line in this context. There are people from all walks of life and all levels of naivety and wisdom which all play a crucial role in defining that line. All parties involved must be transparent and honest with the situation at hand as you may akin to an actual therapy visit.
Lastly, if one is to peform anything related IG, it is highly recommended to keep mental notes OOG as to not overstep your boundaries. You are dealing with other human beings who breath the same oxygen above anything.